October 20th, 1863
8th Confederate HQ - Biloxi, MS
General Wheeler,
Per your orders to expedite a small force to the Department of the Gulf for Temporary Duty, the small force of my unit arrived Friday night after a lengthy forced ride from Eastern Alabama. After 300 miles we had to shoot half the horses for running over the water troughs and breaking their legs, NOT just throwing a shoe, but breaking legs. After a forage for replacement transportation and a few wrench straps for discipline we finally arrived at the home of the President.
Due to the hard riding and lack of proper rations I ordered a day of rest so that the women could recuperate, the horses could graze, and the men be rubbed down. Saturday the scalawags from up nawth bore down on the property of the President and they were held in check all day as we were placed in reserve in the rear. We kept probing the rear to see if there was any action, but there wasn't any to be had.
(General Sir I was asked to give you a message about the last statement and it goes as quoted...."That's what she said")
Saturday evening we found in town a banjo player but we shot him and upon the news of his demise a nice little band of monicas and strangs seemed to come from no where and struck up Bonnie Blue Flag. Well I gathered up a graduate of the Citadel, a young man who wishes to become part of the Balloon Corp and forced him to dance with several of our more estrogen proned troopers. A grand dance was had and many got kisses and close waltzes despite our rugged less than handsome appearance mostly due to the poor lighting in camp.
Sunday morning we buried the dead from the day before and held memorial to the fallen. That afternoon the yankees came back and in force we repulsed them all the way back to Passka...Pasta....Pasqu...Pascagoula. The (wo)men performed well and as per your order we broke camp quickly from the President's Rose Garden and are heading back to Eastern Alabama in hopes of stopping the Jackass Brigade of General Straight's command.I will attempt to ride over to Mobile and ferry up to Pollard for a train to Montgomery and await your orders.
The men are anxious for a fight and I am trying to keep them at bay. I submit this AAR to you for your records.
Your humble Servant,
Capt. C A Bodenheimer, Commanding
8th Confederate Cavalry - your Skeleton Cav
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